Love & Magic
by The Hufflepuff Marauder
Summary: Lily and James are falling fast for each other. But when James finds out something that could endanger both of them will he end it for the 'greater good? LJ SBOC RLOC. Can they continue their relationship in secret with not even the great Albus Dumbledore finding out? Sex Scenes. R Rated for certain scenes
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: This is a story about Lily and James, how their lives unravelled so quickly. The story starts in the fifth year after Snapes Worst Memory. It then will continue into the 6th year with Sirius tricking Severus…. Which is where it all goes wrong for one wizard and right for the other….

Don't own the characters from Harry Potter but I won Erin Jackson, Kirsty Dawson and the Lovejoys.

Lily had always figured her prince charming would be someone other than James Potter, but when events conspire to bring them together she sees a side to James that she never knew was there.

Chapter 1: End of Fifth Year

The noisy chattering of more than a hundred students was a droning, draining volume which consumed he Great Hall. Students were preparing for the end of year feast, there was the usual last minute scramble to get packed ready for the journey home in each common room. And the Gryffindor Common Room was no different, with Lily Evans, Erin Jackson and Kirsty Dawson packing checking every inch of the dormitory and Gryffindor tower.

'Have you seen where I put the Arithmancy book?' Erin said, clearing the bookcase and counting the books.

'You mean your dirty, naughty sex book- have you checked in Sirius' room?' Kirsty said smartly, the socks Erin was holding got flung across the room aimed at white haired Kirsty Dawson.

'I will have you know the last person I leant that too was Remus Lupin,' Erin responded laughing, she threw her hair back as she flounced into the bathroom. Kirsty went a paler shade than her already ice white complexion.

'Are you looking forward to your holiday to Paris Lily?' Kirsty asked attempting to ignore Erins little dig, folding up her quidditch jumper. Kirsty was a chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, she was probably not the best but always tried her hardest.

'Yes, your Remus actually suggested a couple of wizard haunts,'

'Do you think you'll take Petunia with you?'

'Doubt she will even be coming, too wrapped up in her lover boy Vern,' Lily said spitting his name out 'be just me, Harry, mum and dad,'

'That'll be fun, how old is Harry now?'

'13, and a little annoying, but nothing I cannot handle' Lily admitted thinking about her younger brother who unlike Lily was a muggle and attended the local high school where Petunia had gone. The dorm room was almost spotless, albeit Erin's attempt at stripping the bed, a crumpled heap of mess lay at the bottom of her bed.

'I'm going to head down, if you help little Miss Unorganised? ' Kirsty asked, she had all her cloaks, robes neatly folded and in her trunk. She was obsessively tidy, and how she had managed to share a dorm room with Erin Jackson for more than 5 years was an amazement. Kirsty had a place for everything, Erin had everything in every place.

'Erin- Kirsty's off,'

'Bye KD, love to Reemy-poo, don't do page 37,' Erin called

'Sod off, Jackson,' and she pointed her wand at Erin's trunk and all the clothes spilled out 'see you in September ladies, when sweet sixth year will begin,'

The Gryffindor Common room was always quiet he last night before the end of term, most of the parties had ended the week before as a lot of students were now no longer returning home by train, well the majority of purebloods and half bloods at least. Muggleborns took the train with extra security, Auror's were posted in each carriage. Lily was looking forward to her summer, the first time abroad since starting Hogwarts. Her excitement could not be contained. Packing the last of her books and pens, she hurried to the Gryffindor Common Room. And James and Sirius were saying goodbye to Remus at the fireplace, it was strange they were not going with him.

'It was not a problem Moons,' Sirius said hugging his friend tightly who looked like he had run head first into a door, Remus had a scar above his left eye and his nose was broken.

'Oh hi Lily,' Remus said noticing her walking across the room looking at his face 'Sirius got a bit over zealous at practicing quidditch, thought I was the goal post,'

'Be more careful, there's only one Remus Lupin,' and Lily hugged him, turning to Sirius and apparently ignoring James 'have you finished packing because Erin thinks she's lost a particularly important book, help her find it will you? Unless you know where it's gone Remus?' she added smirking

'Must go,' Remus said turning a paler shade of rose he stepped into the fire after hugging Sirius and then James. Sirius, following Lily's instruction made his way up to the 6th year girl dorm room.

'Not talking to me then?'

Lily said nothing

'Take that as a yes, '

Lily rolled her eyes crossing towards the portrait hole to go down to the great hall for the last supper before going home tomorrow. Her dark blue travelling cloak was littered with an embroidered flock pattern that when she passed the windows the dwindling sunshine picked up flecks of silver and gold.

'When are you going to realise it was just retaliation?'

'For what James?' Lily said turning on him in the corridor 'just because he does something to you does not mean you have to lower yourself to his standards,'

There seemed to be no need to explain who "he" was in Lily's eyes he Severus Snape had turned a corner where she could not follow him.

'And let him get away with telling everyone in the school- everyone that you- you-'

'What I do is my own business, I don't need protecting,' Lily implored walking fast now she came to the top of the first landing where other students were milling around on their way to the great hall.

'Lily. You are a Gryffindor. We defend our own,' he said pulling her arm

'That's just it James, I'm not like you,' Lily said outraged 'I don't need a wizard to fight my battles for me,' She pulled her arm away

'I wasn't fighting them for you, I didn't want people to believe those rumours about you and him,'

Lily was now getting cross, her hair, as it so often did and turned a brighter shade of red when she was angry and her eyes were pools of grey storm clouds sifting through an emerald troubled ocean.

'So you believe them, do you?'

'I never said that,' James pointed out quickly 'I just want to protect you, why can I not do that?'

'You're not my brother, I can make my own way James. Let me deal with it,' she added as Severus Snape had appeared at the bottom of the staircase, James marched downwards almost straight away.

'Happy? Do you like hurting her?' he said to Snape who was in his usual pallid slytherin robes, but somehow looked more dishevelled than usual.

'I don't have to answer to you,' Snape said, he looked past James to Lily who was standing on the top of the stairs 'I want to talk to Lily,'

'She doesn't want to talk to you, after what you called her this afternoon'

Lily marched down the stairs, 'James, stop it.'

'For you, you're lucky she was here,'

Lily sighed in frustration, James shrugged and left for the great hall.

'We're done Sev, I told you something in confidence and you told the whole school,' she said, upset. Lily looked at him hoping for some final admission of guilt. He shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, his black robes smeared with potion stains Lily almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

'I didn't!' Severus protested 'Lily please, I didn't mean to say anything they made me'

'You always say that, Sev, that "they made me", have you considered doing something for yourself for a change?' Lily pointed out. She hugged her lather satchel tighter to her chest, as if protecting herself.

'Lily sometimes, sometimes I don't get a choice. Lucius says I'm part of the gang if I want to fit in I have to-'

'If they are more important than us being friends then I don't even know why I am friends with you, you disgust me,' and Lily walked away from him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: You Saved Me

'Why, why did you do that you stupid, stupid boy,' Lily said crossly, holding back tears.

'Better he get me than you,' James said, he was lying in the hospital wing, his chest bound in bandages and his leg was in a half cast. 'The world can do with one less James Potter,'

'Doubt your mother would see it that way Prongs,' Sirius pointed out bluntly who was sat on the other side of the bed 'she still thinks the sun shines out of your arse at 16,'

'He wasn't going to hurt you, any of you. I couldn't let that happen,'

And a strange thing happened, James felt Lily's fingers find his.

'But if you had been killed I-'

Sirius cast a glance down on the bed and saw James Potter moving his hand from Lily's.

'That's our Prongs, ever the hero,' Sirius said slapping his friends good leg 'don't shy away from trouble do you,' The hospital wing was home to oneother resident too, Severus Snape was at the other end of the ward. He was covered in less bandages and was being fussed over by the student nurses from St Mungos.

When you share something so unforgettable, when your life is truly threatened and that person is strong enough to protect you instead of himself. Lily had never thought much about real heroes, they didn't have to be powerful, but something about James was different. Like they could work together, as a team and be equal partners. He wouldn't depend on her, he would include her, protect her and love her unconditionally, always allowing them space so their love could truly grow like a flower. In those small first moments Lily Evans felt something she had never felt before, that jolt of excitement when a boy's hand found hers.

'I'm going to go talk to Pompfrey, see when we can get you out of here,' Sirius said coughing, excusing himself and wandering to the other end of the hospital wing.

There was a slightly uncomfortable silence for a second or two, James was staring at the ceiling and Lily was looking anywhere else but at him.

'I'm glad you're okay Lily, but you don't have to stay. I will be here for a while I think,' he said wincing in pain as he shifted his weight for a split second.

'I have got time,' she replied 'you saved my life, least I can do is keep you company,'

'Every life is worth saving, you know who said that?'

Lily shook her head

'Albus Dumbledore, said it to me last year. Didn't really believe him, but you know he's right,' James said turning his head to her.

'You could've died when that curse hit you.'

'No one hurts my friends Lily,' he swallowed 'especially you, I don't like to see it when you cry,'

Lily found his hand again and this time James didn't pull away from her.

'About bleedin' time,' Sirius mumbled to himself smiling looking back as he headed out of the ward.

A week later the events at the Whomping Willow were quickly becoming an urban legend, and it was starting to annoy James. When he entered class the other students cheered, Professor Slughorn gave him an extra fifty points for Gryfndr when he helped him pick up a broken cauldron. The attention was becoming a nuisance. His broken ribs had grown back, his cuts were healing and everyone wanted a piece of "The Gryffindor Hero". Everyone except Lily who appeared to be not as concerned as when he was in the hospital wing.

The sunshine was not enough to keep the common room lit that afternoon and the third years had spent the afternoon lighting candles and house elves had begun preparations for Christmas.

'It's November,' Sirius said incredulously spying the tinsel littering the floor 'looks like your cat Luna has had a good go at it already James,' Sirius pointed out to the little black three legged cat playing with the strands of tinsel.

'Have you thought any more about coming to mine for Christmas, there's plenty of room. Mum and Dad look forward to your visits,' James picked up Luna and cuddled her, flicking off the bits of tinsels from her paws. He let her climb on his shoulders.

'Well its either that or go home, I don't fancy that,' Sirius muttered darkly, he reached out a hand to stroke Luna who hissed at him instantly, he shook his hand away from her 'swear that cat knows what I really am,'

'She is just excited, she loves decorations don't you Tuey,'

'That cat has so many names surprised it doesn't have a complex,' Sirius said watching James go upstairs carrying the cat like a child on his shoulders. Sirius threw himself down onto the couch near the fireplace, some fourth year girls were staring and giggling at him from across the room. Sirius loved the attention, for at home it was often like he was invisible.

Lily was not feeling herself, asking Madam Pompfrey if something was wrong with her she declared that Lily was in perfect health. But Lily didn't believe her and was wondering her way back to the Gryffindor common room alone.

'Hey, Lily, come and sit here.' Sirius called to her as she entered through the door he noticed she looked pale, her hair was not its usual bright dark red. And Sirius had been in and around Lily Evans to know that something might just be wrong.

'Is James not with you'

'He will be back in a minute, his cat had tinseltis,' Sirius joked

'He hasn't talked to me you know, I thought-'

'I think you need to talk to him Lily,' Sirius said holding his hands up immediately 'this is between you two, its James you need to be speaking too,'

Lily considered this for a minute, but was more comfortable talking about James to Sirius than actually confronting the problem. It was not a comfortable feeling when you felt your feelings overtaking you and you had no idea what was going on.

'Ah here he is, Prongs have my seat, I was just going to find Erin. That girl never is where she says she will be,'

James caught sight of Lily sat by the fireplace, her head in her hands. The one person he really wanted to talk to about everything that happened that day and there she was in front of him. Sirius patted him on the shoulder and smiling added 'think she needs someone to talk too, specifically you,'

James sat in the chair opposite her. Lily was curled up, with her brown leather bag at her feet. Her wand tucking out of her robe pocket flung on the back of the chair. She was now smiling uncomfortably at him.

'I've been meaning to talk to you, how've you been?' James asked her concerned that she didn't seem to be looking at him

'Big question, don't think I have an answer. Kind of dawning on me that the wizarding world, this whole place, not as safe as it once was James,' Lily blurted out, she grabbed her wand from her pocket and twiddled it in her hands.

'Lily, you're a talented witch, don't let last week frighten you. That's what they want,'

'But is it because I'm a threat, I'm a witch James. You're a wizard, it's only a matter of time isn't it till, till everything changes. Last week was just the start,' Lily said leaning back in the armchair.

'Where is all this coming from?'

Lily shrugged, she sneezed wiping her nose on her jumper sleeve she looked at him amused, embarrassed even.

'Life is precious you're right, and till last week I didn't realise,' she said almost shaking 'it just keeps replaying in my head, over and over again. You, the curse, everything.'

'Lily, do you want to talk about this?'

'I have to James, I feel like my head will explode otherwise,' Lily said quickly looking to the ceiling she breathed in deeply aware his eyes were fixed on her intently. 'you promise you'll listen,'

James watched her, she was wringing her hands nervously and he realised just how traumatic the vents had affected her. This was strong headed Lily Evans who never needed protecting, a witch in her full own right capable of god only knows what and here she was, breaking into about a million pieces before him.

'I nearly died. And you were going to die instead of me, that branch when it fell it was all so quick, you pulled Snape back,' Lily explained. She was leaning against the back of her chair, her body seemed to be turning towards him and hiding all at the same time.

'Lily I did it for Remus, I didn't want my best friend to live with the consequences of his uncontrollable actions,' James told her 'Yes, I saved Snape. But Lily I was protecting Remus, then when I saw you by the lake it became even more important,'

'All I remember James was seeing a stag, care to explain- it is all a bit foggy,'

James sighed, he knew Sirius might kill him. But Lily had seen enough that evening to deserve to know the truth and he found himself unable to completely lie to her.

'Yes, that was me. After Snape passed out – Remus he tried to attack you and I-' he stopped, writhing his hands 'okay, what I am going to tell you- please, don't think any less of me, Sirius and especially Remus. It wasn't his idea, it was always mine,

Lily eyed him suspiciously, the fire in the grate was dying and distracting her James chucked a few more logs on the fire, sending the flames crackling higher.

'Lily I was the stag,'

She blinked at him disbelievingly, James watched as he saw her thinking. Working it out, and he wasn't sure if she was going to A. Hit him. Or B. Curse him.

'You did what?'

'I know what you're going to say, but please, let me explain,'

'You became animagi for Remus?' her voice was high pitched, astonishment spreading over her face James was expectant, waiting for her to say more. She sat in silence for about a minute, processing it.

'Lily?'

'James Potter I think you are the biggest and most dangerous idiot Gryffindor has ever seen.' Lily sighed closing her eyes and tutting to herself she added 'but I also think,' she looked at him 'that you are actually a very kind soul beneath all that, all that,' and she made gestures with her hands 'cocky attitude, you're far braver than I give you credit for,'

'Did Lily Evans just compliment me?' he said cockily. She smiled attempting to whack him in the shin.

'I can, and will take it back,' Lily said confidently half laughing, looking half mad.

'I don't think you want to take it back, besides I'm keeping it,' he added 'you're really not mad?'

'Amazed to be honest,' Lily added 'you managed magic far more advanced than even Dumbledore, all to help your friend. I always helped Remus when I could, but you James are another level'

The grandfather clock struck 9 o'clock, the little golden mouse peeped out of the clock face and ran around the clock case 9 times before squeaking a final time and vanishing back into the clock.

'Lily I want to ask you something,' James said as studied her, she really was as beautiful as she was the first day he had ever seen her. The pale cream skin, her freckles that only appeared when she smiled and that stunning auburn hair that fell just past her shoulders. She was holding herself differently, more openly to him.

'That's my bedtime,' Lily surmised quickly getting up from the comfy plush armchair 'what is it?'

'If I asked you to go out with me, would you say yes?' James stood up and saw she was nearly a foot shorter than him, his head could almost sit a top of her head.

Lily smiled, her dark green eyes staring at anywhere but James.

'You always do that,' James pointed out 'one day Lily Evans I will make you look at me,'

She briefly caught his eye as she looked up and said

'Goodnight James,' and she left him standing, waiting for an answer.

That night Lily Evans clambered into her bed, her heart beating fast and her mind racing. This was the second time James Potter had consumed her thoughts, that same jolt of excitement when she stood near him. As she heard Erin come into the dorm room she needed to tell someone how she was starting to feel, even she was slightly confused about how James Potter was now effecting her this way.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been two days since Lily had spoken to James, she had been subtly trying to not run into him. Her head was confused, she had never experienced this feeling and of all people she had never thought James would be the kind of person she would be interested in. He had asked her out at the end of last year but had found him overbearing, arrogant. But maybe just maybe the summer had matured him…

The cold winter was starting to ebb away and icicles had begun to melt from the frosted top most windows of the Astronomy tower. It was two weeks before the Easter holidays and all the 6th years at Hogwarts were winding themselves up preparing for their end of years exams. The Gryffindor and Hufflepuff sixers were sharing their usual double potions class on Tuesday afternoon with Professor Slughorn.

'When you add Manticure claws you should get a lime green colour,' Professor Slughorn said to the class, he added three claws one by one and the murky brown liquid changed to lime green with a sizzling pop. 'Now, it is your turn,' he said profusely bouncing with joy, trusting his students abilities, despite the fact the students exchanged fervent looks.

'Lily, psst, Lily,' Davie Baxter a Hufflepuff whispered, he was sat on the table next to Lily.

'What,' she whispered back as Professor Slughorn was floating around the class peering at their workings out.

'He asked about you again you know,' Davie said grinning 'wants to know if you're going to be down at the Club tonight, James said he will be there'

'Really?' Lily said suspiciously, was this all a weird wind up.

'Lils, pass me the shears,' Erin said 'Davie back to your table,'

'Hey,' Davie protested 'I am just trying to get little Miss rigid here a date,'

'She doesn't need your help, right Lils?' Erin said smirking from behind her cauldron

'Just the messenger,' Davie protested turning back to his table.

After the girls had finished in Potions the next torturous few hours were going to be spent outside in the greenhouses and Lily's least favourite teacher, Professor Harrison who insisted on sitting Lily with Paul Vayro from Ravenclaw the unruliest wizard in their year, he even gave Sirius black a run for his money most days. The one saving grace was Kirsty was in her class, Erin had dropped Herbology as soon as she possibly could in their fifth year. Whereas Kirsty was a natural outdoor witch, in touch with the world and Lily needed Herbology if she was ever going to get into Stonehenge Research Centre.

'When you dig the trout hole out you will find that the tentacle is a little grisly, so just cut here, and here' Professor Sprout advised holding up the multi tentacle plant with one hand and her magic shears in the other. 'Now you're turn, be careful not to nip too close to the black bits near the top Mr Vayro,'

No one had seen Lily that angry ever. When Paul Vayro had refused to cooperate and was showing off to his Ravenclaw and Slytherin friends Lily lost it. He had dipped her hair in an inkwell, causing it to turn black. Lily had cursed him and turned him into a black beetle.

'You think you're the best just because you're a Ravvenclaw, you don't listen. You are a waste of space, a bully who hasn't grown up.' Followed by several more muggle expletives Lily was taken out of the classroom by Professor Sprout who contacted Professor Royals to come at once and calm Lily down. Lily feared the deputy headmaster was going to tell her off, instead he shook her hand and said he had wanted to do that for years.

James Potter had not yet received an answer and that evening he found all his sixth year gryffindors gathered in the common room. Remus was comforting Lily, reassuring her she would not get expelled and that Paul Vayro deserved everything he got.

'Erin, will you come to the Owlery tonight, need to use your owl Pickles. And it hates me,' Sirius asked

'Why not use your owl, does Regulus still keep him in the Slytherin Common room?' Erin guessed

'Of course, doesn't let Squeaks out of his sight, please Erin? The bike needs a new part- mail order from Magic Mikes?'

'Lils, will you be okay?' Erin asked, Lily was not crying as much as before, Remus had conjured hot chocolate and she seemed to be a little brighter. She nodded.

Dragging Erin by the hand Sirius acknowledged James and headed out of the common room. James took up Sirius' vacant seat. James gave Remus a look, something that took a secondor two to fall.

'Oh right, well Lily, erm, I will see you in the morning. I promised George Astbury a game of gobstones in the library,'

Lily nodded and muttering thank you she realised she was sitting opposite James Potter, the very same James Potter who was looking for an answer.

'I guess you want to talk to me or something, Davie said you were going to be at the club' Lily said nonchantly

'Lily Evans, you never gave me answer. I heard what happened today, well done by the way,'

She laughed

'I shouldn't have lost it, but god I was sick of him picking on me, picking on everyone.' Lily told him, he had now moved next to her now.

'Lily, will you go out with me?'

'Erm,' she mumbled, playing with her hands nervously 'really?'

James studied her, Lily could feel her cheeks flushing, his eyes seemed to be watching her mouth open and close like a fish. He leaned into her, smiling.

'We can arrange something for the weekend if you're free,' he added

'Sure, yes, what did you have in mind' she said, and inside her head was screaming more than just yes, she was jumping, skipping and dancing in a forest of red flowers.

'We will see where the roads take us?'

Lily nodded 'so…'

'I will see you on Saturday Lils,'


	4. Chapter 4

Almost Kissed

The warm scents of cinnamon and berries were smouldering from the warm mugs of warming brown liquid. Lily raised the cup to her hands sloshing it around unsurely she stared into it debating whether to drink it down in one. It smelt delicious, she admitted, but the disgusting appearance of the brown liquid was not appetising or appealing to the eye.

'Lils try it, you might like it, if you don't you can pick the next drink' James said watching her reaction. He had already made short work of his own drink. Lily gripped the cup firmly and let her lips lick the liquid as she tipped it towards her.

'Curcgh,' Lily's face pulled back and she licked her lips trying to sweep away the bitter taste of the festive drink with her saliva. James laughed and Lily threw a rolled up napkin in his direction spluttering and coughing.

The Three Broomsticks was quiet, with only a few weeks to Christmas most people had headed into London to visit Diagon Alley. It was the last Hogsmeade visit of the year for all third years and above from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Master Ronnie Barraclough was running the bar with his goddaughter, Rosmerta, and they served a wonderful selection of Christmas inspired drinks, including the drink now smeared over Lily Evans' lips.

'It's supposed to taste like Christmas,' James said reading the label 'do you not like it,'

Lily shook her head her eyes wide, she looked back over to the bar hoping to order herself a lemonade or schnapps even if they had it or something equally interesting for James to try.

'I prefer something else, I'll go get it. Have you finished yours,' Lily nodded at his nearly half empty glass as she saw James shift 'no it's fine, you want me to get you the same?'

She walked over to the bar taking in all the different coloured labels flashing magically from the bottle fronts. Rosmerta served her, a slight twinkle in her eye she looked over at James and said

'He your date or are you his?'

'I would like to think it's an equal thing,' Lily admitted, pausing she added dancing on the balls of her feet 'he asked me out actually,'

Rosmerta shook her head, her dark brown curled hair was long and fell over her voluminous bust in waves. Rosmerta's dark green eyes were looking in James direction, he was fumbling with "that snitch".

'He does that a lot,' Rosmerta pointed out, Lily pointed to the purple looking liquid eager to try something that tasted like parma violets according to the label. Lily turned and saw him playing with the snitch, thumbing it gently as if he were trying to open it. 'Normally nerves, never does it with the boys just well, the odd girl or two,' Rosmerta added hastily changing tact quickly so Lily wouldn't notice.

'I think this might help the nerves,' Lily said and she shrugged hopefully looking at the two bottles of purple liquid in her hands, it'll help my bloody nerves she thought as she walked back to the table. James had finished his drink and eyed suspiciously what she had in her hands. He had stuffed the snitch back into his pocket the second he saw Lily start to walk over to him.

Lily never thought even up until recently that she would be sat in a pub with James Potter and enjoying his physical company rather than reticently running away. The thought that he was sitting across from her was starting to dawn on her, he was going to be watching her every move for however long they decided the date would last.

As she raised the bottle to her lips James was watching her still. He was flustered that she caught him staring, his eyes momentarily left her face.

'Will you be staying at Hogwarts for Christmas' James said casually taking a sip 'urgh, Lily this tastes like my Grandma's perfume,'

'I like it,' Lily said taking a bigger drink 'lovely and sweet,' she said biting her top lip. She felt her courage building, James' hand was lying on the table loosely and Lily's overwhelming feeling to place her hand on top was driving her mad. She hoped he would take the hint as she placed her own hand on the table playing with the ring on her right hand.

'Do you like sweet things Lils?' James said, a slight tone of amusement in his voice 'is that why you agreed to go out with me?'

'If I wanted sweet I would've agreed to date Remus,'

'What, Remus asked you out?' he said slightly puzzled

Lily stuck her tongue out at him childishly.

'Yes I am planning on staying here for Christmas. I have a lot more work to do this year and I cannot concentrate at home,' Lily explained 'you're going home, obviously?'

'Why the 'obviously' Lils? I might be going to spend Christmas with the charming delights of the Black family for all you know,' James said mockingly teasing her as he drank

'It's all Sirius ever talks about, your amazing house,' Lily said emphatically 'you would think it was a castle as big as school!'

James shook his head

'Narh, Padfoot over estimates size. It's a little problem he has,' James said smirking wickedly at Lily who he noticed was starting to turn a light shade of pink. Lily couldn't help but smile, though her thoughts were swimming through some of the events which had brought her hear, in such close proximity to James Potter.

'You know I have a lot of questions don't you?' Lily said bluntly finishing her drink

'Well I can try and give you answers but I'm not sure what I can tell you that you don't already know,'

'Seriously?' Lily blinked 'you think there is nothing else to tell, I think we have a few hours of daylight left James,'

James had really wanted to make this date about Lily, and infuriatingly she was making it all about him. He wanted to know her more, learn more about her and what she liked. So far he knew she loved the smell of parma violets, hated the taste of malted cinnamon.

He was unsure about where to begin, knowing full well that Sirius Black might just kill him James conjured up a scroll of parchment. Several stretches of information roamed the parchment and he passed it to Lily across the table. Once she had read it spontaneously burst into flames.

'Do you understand; you know about Remus' little problem. And do you understand how hard it was for us to achieve, why do you think Sirius was so quiet for four weeks- had that god awful shit in his mouth,' James sighed, ruffling up his hair which Lily did not fail to notice. 'Shall I get you another drink?'

And James returned a minute later with a large glass of wine and a pint of beer for himself. Lily eyed it suspiciously.

'It's just wine, a sweet one. You said you like sweet,' James said sitting back down next to her. As Lily took a swig of her wine she felt a surge of confidence, and without warning grabbed his hand in hers.

'Oh,' he said looking down, Lily smiled at him as if looking for a sign of reassurance that she had done the right thing. He looked surprised and Lily was unnerved that she had been too bold.

'Sorry,' she mumbled and trying to tear her hand away her fingers were firmly clasped in James' hand.

'Don't apologise,'

'I feel like I crossed a line,' Lily said, but he hadn't let go of her hand no matter how he tried to pull away.

'I would tell you if you did,' James replied and pulled her fingers in closer with his. The pub was starting to fill up with other Hogwarts students doing Christmas shopping. James prayed that Sirius and Remus didn't turn up, he already felt spied upon from the bar by Rosmerta. And Remus would no doubt want to come and talk to Lily, Sirius would have more decorum.

'This is okay?' Lily asked a slight anxiety in her voice

'I don't see why not,' James added his finger now tracing patterns on the back of her hand. 'Is it okay with you?'

'I like that,' Lily said as she watched him trace their initials on the back of her hand. He then raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.

'And that?'

Lily was a little surprised, her hand felt warm and tingly as he placed it back on the table and had a firm grip on her.


	5. Chapter 5

Authors Note: This is set two years later from the last chapter... Lily and James are going through difficult times...

Parting of the ways….

'What do you mean you're coming over,' Lily said in between tears

'Lily I'm coming, right now.' James said crossly, firm.

'Why, what's the point. You're the one who doesn't want to be with me,' Lily sobbed into the phone.

'Let's just talk,' James said his voice shaking 'we need to talk face to face, letters won't sort this out this time,'

Lily cried harder, pacing her bedroom her phone glued to her ear.

'Please James don't,'

'Lily,' he shouted 'I am coming. Now.'

A few minutes later James Potter was stood at her bedroom door, he himself looked upset but nowhere nearly as upset as Lily.

'Lily, we can talk properly now,' he came into her bedroom shutting the door 'come on,'

'Talk properly?' Lily said collapsing onto the bottom of her bed.

'The pressure Lily, I can't manage it,' James said honestly 'Dumbledore, you- everything I just need to spread my wings,'

If Lily wasn't head over heels in love with him she would've hit him so hard, but this was James. She couldn't do it, she felt weak for crying more but didn't want to comprehend what he was saying. She could never hurt James, not like he was hurting her now which made her feel ten times worse.

'Do what?' Lily mumbled

'We should both find other things; you know see the world. We are too young to be serious?' James explained sitting on the bed next to her

'I didn't think we were,' Lily said, mixed emotions flooding through her mind.

'Look we could perhaps just ease out of this, you know,'

Lily looked at him sceptically, 'ease out of this?'

'Lily, I don't want to hurt you,'

'Fine fucking job doing that,' she growled at him between tears

'You're being unreasonably unfair Lily,' James said crossly 'I am trying to be nice about this, I need my space back'

'You need space? We live 30 miles apart how much space do you need?'

'You know what I mean Lily, with everything going on. We need to explore the world,'

Whatever world James Potter wanted to explore Lily Evans was sure as hell not going to be a part of it anymore, that he was making evidently clear the more he chattered away. He was squirming uncomfortably.

'Is there somebody else?' Lily asked shyly, not wanting an answer but in the pit of her stomach she was convinced there had to be a reason as to why he wanted to leave her. Even if it was another woman, at least it was a better excuse than 'explore the world' as he so delicately put it.

'No, I mean, of course not.' James said quickly 'you're being daft, I just thing we need to take a break, a break from being together all the time,'

Lily looked at him, he was now standing in front of her, he looked ashen faced and unhappy. He took his glasses off, rubbing his face he said 'I still have feelings for you, just I want to have a bit more fun. You want that too don't you, '

'So that's it, good, we are over then. Nothing. Done.' Lily said firmly, fighting back more waves of tears. James sat next to her, looking at her Lily wouldn't face him, she stared hard at her hands closing her eyes every few seconds, as if waiting to wake up from a dream, a nightmare even.

'We can still be friends, it might be hard, but please Lily I want you in my life,'

'Just not as your wife,' she retorted angrily, her eyes focusing on the small diamond clustered ring on her left hand

'We're too young damn it,' James said jumping off the bed 'Lily please you're making this harder than it has to be,'

'Well I'm glad one of us is making it harder,' Lily replied sarcastically

'See there, that. You're so infuriating, have been for weeks. Whatever I do, say it's always wrong. I don't know what you want anymore,' James said pointing at her and starting to pace her small bedroom.

'I want you, I've only ever wanted you from the second you kissed me,' Lily said disbelievingly, 'you're all I have James,'

The overwhelming compulsion to comfort her was riding through James uncontrollably but he couldn't do this anymore, this was what was best for him, her for both of them. He hated seeing her cry, ever since they had met all those years ago on the train to Hogwarts and she had misplaced her cat Misty on the train. Her tears caused him pain. Always had done, always will.

'You have so much more than me, Erin, Kirsty, and your place at Stonehenge? You're going to be okay without me,'

'You don't know me at all, how could I possibly be okay without you when we were going to start our life together' Lily sobbed harder, she looked at him for a reaction and saw very little and she changed tack 'maybe you're right, we just don't work anymore,'

James face tightened, he stiffened at her sudden resolute resolve, her tears seemed to have stopped. She looked at the clock behind him, all she wanted right now was for James Potter to get out, leave her alone. She wanted him to be anywhere else in the world than in her bedroom.

'Right, I should get going, Lily I didn't want to do it like this. I really am trying here, I don't want you to be hurt, please keep the ring' he added lifting her hand, he kissed her ring finger 'it is only for you,'

'Ok, I don't know what I will do with it, its fine,' she said quickly, curtly wiping tears from her face, 'I will walk you down and out. Otherwise mum will ask you to stay for tea, and we both don't want that do we?'

James shook his head, sighing he agreed.

As Lily closed the front door she raced back up to her room slamming the door behind her she threw herself onto her bed crying more tears than she ever thought were humanely possible. How does a person just stop caring, stop loving her? Lily glanced to her left hand the diamond cluster ring sparkling in her bedroom light, she couldn't stand to look at it couldn't stand to part with it either. Everything James was to her was in that ring, that simple little piece of golden coloured metal slipping on her finger. She thumbed it carelessly tears running down her face, she would, could never part with it just like she had never wanted to part from James and never thought she would.

But what did forever, a promise, mean to someone who was capable of hurting you this much?

At Lilac Cottage James Potter lit the fire, piling extra logs on to make it bigger. He pulled up a chair and stared into the flames licking the wood and coal mercilessly. He had done the right thing, even if he couldn't stand to see her cry. He ran his hand over his face, sighing his mind was running through all the things he had said to her. Half of them he meant, the other half not so much.

'Shit,' he shouted, kicking the bucket of coal angrily, recalling how Lily thought he didn't love her, had enjoyed hurting her even? How could she even think that, he was doing this for them, to protect them, let her have a life and live it without him. He wished he could tell her, tell her how all he wanted was to hold her close every night, make love to her, care for her- provide- give her the world.

But for now Lily Evans could not be part of James Potter's universe, no matter how much the other wanted it to be….


	6. Chapter 6

AN: They had remained friends, Lily had tried to move on but never found true happiness and James had not dated anyone since, his work training as an Auror took him away from everyone most of the time so his love life was not an issue but when he meets Lily again will they give into temptation?

2 years later….

Lily Evans stood at the bar, her purse out on the counter she looked at the different spirits on offer all displaying wacky Christmas style labels, she preferred the labels to the stuff in them if she was honest. The bar was already getting busy; people were milling around the outdoor seating areas. It was in the heart of the Christmas markets and was a big German themed tavern.

'What can a get ya?' the barman said staring at Lily's purse and saw her pulling out a five-pound note

'I will have….'she started and looking at the labels plumped for 'Captain Morgan with a shot of lemonade please,'

The barman whipped out a tall ball glass and proceeded to push the coloured brown liquid in. He then squirted with lemonade. Remembering she had two more drinks to order Lily closed her eyes, recalling Kirsty and Erin's orders. More staff had arrived as the bar started to get busier, and James Potter appeared next to Lily he began to place his order. Sideways glancing at him Lily smiled and he winked quickly.

'Anything else?'

'Yeah rum and coke please. And an Archers and lemonade,' Lily said, her hands down by her side appeared to be at a loose end, glancing casually around James ordered three drinks and a box of cheese covered tortilla chips which was busily being prepared by the barmaid. Lily's hand slowly but surely found his by his side, she entwined her fingers briefly with his. James firmly squeezed her hand affectionately for less than a second. When his drinks and nachos all appeared on the bar he dropped his hand from hers and grabbed the box of nachos, smiling warmly at her as he walked away.

Lily could get accustomed to this, no one need know they were secretly and desperately falling in love with each other again, it was so much less complicated when no one else was involved which was just the way Lily and James liked and intended to keep it.

'I love this kind of cheese,' Sirius said happily tearing the tortilla chips and scooping up the cheese. He, Remus and James were occupying a tall seated table near one of the big electronic heaters which was blasting out rays of warmth.

'Wonder where the girls are off tonight?' Remus poised

'Erin said they were staying in,' Sirius explained 'doing some 'research' on Scamander's little pet,'

'I would hardly call a fully-fledged Kelpie a pet, Sirius,' James said sipping his beer

'You know what he's like, where do you think Hagrid gets it from,'

'Did Sirius say where they were going tonight?' Kirsty asked Erin as Lily sat the drinks down. The girls were pitched up outside on one of the long picnic benches.

'Some bar in Halifax, I never really pay that close attention. He could be stripping in The West Riding for all I know. As long as he remembers he's to come home to me,' Erin explained nonchantly.

'Well he knows you would kill him otherwise, right?' Lily interjected 'and I don't think Sirius likes the idea of being killed by you, it would be far too demonic and torturous,'

'Demonic? No, the torture bit I guess I do go in for a bit of the dark side,' Erin added grinning wickedly over her rum and coke.

'So you told Remus we were studying right?' Lily directed at Kirsty who was playing with the ice and lemon in her archers.

'All night, researching the Kelpi wasn't it you said to tell him Erin?'

'Well I know he wouldn't ask question as soon as I mentioned Newt Scamander, Remus idolises him and Sirius believes what I tell him,' Erin said simply 'we deserve this girls, it's about time we left off some steam,'

'Wonder if we'll find someone for you tonight Lily?' Kirsty said a small smile playing about her lips

'I see a tall blonde haired man, blue eyes and tall in your future,' Erin said mimicking their high pitched Divination Professor from school.

'I can handle my own love life,' Lily said flatly

'Lily you haven't dated anyone in two years, isn't it about time you got back on the broom?'

'Sure you can remember how to ride one-'Erin finished for Kirsty, both of them giggling.

Lily flared her nostrils and took a sip of her drink.

'I do recall, faintly, you know,' Lily said stiffly eyeing her two best friends. 'At least I didn't get together with my boyfriend's cousin,'

'I was single-ish at the time,' Erin replied 'Sirius was just a little more my type,'

The warmth of the blowers was keeping the table nice and heated, James had given Remus some of his money to get the next round leaving him and Sirius alone.

'Okay, are you going to tell me what is going on?' Sirius said firmly watching Jams staring into his air filled glass.

'What you on about?' James replied innocently

'You seem off, has something happened at work?' Sirius inquired

'No, just thinking,'

Sirius rolled his eyes leaning back on the stool he said

'Really? 10 years I've know you James Potter, you normally leave the thinking to me,'

James was antsy, what if someone saw, a spy maybe floating in and round the muggle Christmas markets, watching them and reporting back. It had been a foolish idea to think he and Lily could restart their relationship, and this time he was desperately trying to avoid hurting her.

'Do you think the Dragons will win the Championship this year?' James said, changing the subject. Not one to miss out on a chance to discuss their favourite quidditch teams Sirius talked for a whole ten minutes about flying formations, James could not help but think Lily was six or seven hundred meters away from him and all he wanted to do was be with her.


End file.
